He's a Mystery that Makes No Sense to Me
by thecoleaderofgroupb
Summary: He's tired and slightly suspicious of the well-dressed gentleman who bailed him out moments ago, but he's the only connection he's got to his father. When Rottweiler and the rest of Dean's goonies rolled in, all Eggsy wanted to do was just get the beating over with and let this gent leave unscathed. Shocked is a huge understatement of how he felt.


**Notes** : I wanted to explore what was going through Eggsy's head during the bar scene. While I have a fair memory of the dialogue that went on during the scene, there may be some inaccuracies and I apologize in advance for them.

* * *

The man paid for their beers when they arrived and sat opposite Eggsy, resting his brolly against the seat. Name was Harry Hart, he was a tailor at some fancy bespoke suit shop on Saville Row (figures why he was dressed so nicely), and he knew Eggsy's father before the accident. As Harry started telling Eggsy about the incident and how Lee picked up on something that Harry missed, Eggsy sat up straighter and grinned widely.

"So my dad saved your ass, huh?" Eggsy asked as he leaned forward.

Harry gave a slight nod as he turned the glass in his hand. "Yes, your father saved not only my life, but everyone else's in that room. Had it not been for him, there would have been more people dead." He took a sip and put down his glass. "But I will say that if he was still alive, he'd be very disappointed in you."

Eggsy's face fell as the topic changed to him. His back stiffened at that last statement and he narrowed his eyes. "You can't say that 'bout me!" he protested. It was a mistake to go to the Black Swan with this bloke – instead of getting a drink and hearing stories of heroism and bravery about his elusive father, he was going to get a lecture about his choices.

Harry continued, "Read your file – huge IQ, high performance in grade school…and it all went tits up. Drugs, petty crime, theft…you never had a job."

"Oh yeah you think there's loads of jobs out there?" Eggsy challenged as he narrowed his eyes.

Harry leaned forward as he continued. "You were skilled in gymnastics, had the potential to go Olympic and you quit."

"Well when you're 'round my stepdad, you pick up loads of other hobbies 'long the way," Eggsy groused as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Who's to blame for you quitting the marines? You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up," Harry asked.

Eggsy bit his lip and leaned forward. "Because my mum went mental, banging on about losing me as well as my dad! Didn't want me being cannon fodder for snobs like you, judging people like me from your ivory towers with no thought about what we do what we do."

He leaned towards Harry before continuing, eyes narrowed and teeth gritted. "We ain't got much choice, you get me? And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses we'd do just as well as you, if not better." He settled back against the booth, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What the Hell are you doin' here?" Rottweiler demanded from the doorway of the pub.

Eggsy winced when he spotted them and jerked his head back towards Harry.

"I'm guessing he's one of those types you mentioned," Harry asked as he shot a quick glance at the lanky figure approaching them with the rest of Dean's crew.

"Nah, he's the exception," Eggsy mumbled as he hunched his shoulders. "C'mon, we should get outta here."

Harry leaned back in his seat and raised his pint glass. "Nonsense, we haven't finished our drinks yet."

"You gotta a lotta of nerve showin' up here again after jacking my car," Rottweiler warned as he approached their table.

"After what you did back there, Dean said your ass is fair game," Poodle added.

Harry sighed as he scanned the group standing in front of them. "Boys, I've had a rather emotional day, so whatever your beef with Eggsy is, and granted I'm sure it's well founded, I'd appreciate it if you left us in peace so we can finish this lovely pint of Guinness."

Eggsy cringed as Harry addressed the guys, wishing he just took the ride home. He didn't know if this bloke was serious or being mental, thinking that this little speech would convince these wankers to just go.

"You should get outta the way Granddaddy or you'll get hurt," Rottweiler said as he tilted his head towards Harry.

Eggsy met Harry's eyes and leaned forward. "He ain't jokin', you should go." He kept his eyes on Harry, waiting for him to get up and leave before he got a rough beating from these guys.

Harry sighed with a shrug of his shoulders and stood up from his seat, tossing his brolly to his other arm as he strode towards the door. The other guys moved to the side to let him pass, leering at him as he got closer to the door.

"Betcha you could find another rentboy's ass on the corner," Rottweiler added before turning towards Eggsy, cracking his knuckles.

Instead of leaving, Harry paused at the door and looked over at the group in the reflection of the pub's frosted glass window on the door. He began to throw the locks on the doors as he uttered, "Manners. Maketh. Man."

Those three words made the group pause and turn around, moving away from Eggsy as they watched the well-dressed gent.

"Do you know what that means?" Harry asked as he kept his eyes on the reflection, noticing a stout glass on a nearby table within reach of his hand.

Eggsy sank lower in his seat and he silently groaned. Yeah, this bloke had gone mental – why the Hell didn't he just leave and let Eggsy take the fucking beating? Now he was probably gonna end up in the ER with him – all cause he thought a little talk could convince these wankers to not hurt him for jacking Rottweiler's car. He gripped the edge of the bench as he watched the group eye Harry with confusion.

"Well then let me teach you a lesson," Harry uttered. The hook of his brolly wrapped around the glass before flicking it behind him, hitting Rottweiler square in the center of his forehead.

Eggsy froze as the glass connected, wincing at the sound of it breaking as Rottweiler fell backwards, his forehead starting to bleed. His eyes widened in shock as he looked from Rottweiler's unconscious body to Harry, who had turned around as the group advanced towards him.

 _No way_ , Eggsy thought as he looked back at Rottweiler. What job did this bloke say he had? Cause there was no fucking way he was just working some boring retail gig at a posh shop on Saville Row.

"Are we going to stand around here all day," Harry asked the rest of the group, "or are we going to fight?"

Eggsy opened his mouth as one of the guys tried to punch Harry in the jaw, only to miss and hit Poodle, resulting in the latter losing a tooth. What happened next was a blur – punches were thrown and missed as Harry evaded them, using his brolly to block and strike the offenders.

 _For a posh bloke who was giving me shit for my choices, he sure isn't polished and uppity like them others_ , Eggsy thought as he watched the older man fight with a sort of calmness and precision. His eyes widened when he saw something come shooting out of Harry's brolly, trapping Poodle to the railing of the bar and sending a powerful wave of electricity through the goon's body, making him convulse violently.

He didn't know what the fuck was going on or what the deal was with Harry's brolly but it was all…hell, amazing. Confusing as fuck but he couldn't deny the fact that it felt amazing watching this gent kick these guys around without a scratch. He pressed his lips together as Rottweiler came to and fished out a gun concealed in his jeans.

"You son of a bitch!" Rottweiler roared as he fired shots at Harry.

The gent had taken cover behind his brolly, now open and somehow blocking the bullets being fired. Then the pub fell silent as Rottweiler realized that he was out of ammo as empty clicks replaced the bullet shots. From behind the brolly, Harry switched it to Stun mode and a stun bullet sailed out of the tip, knocking Rottweiler out for a second time.

Eggsy stared in disbelief as the brolly collapsed and Harry emerged unscathed.

The bartender picked up the phone and began to dial police. Before he finished dialing, Harry checked his watch before a small dart hit the bartender's neck, making him slump to the floor, the phone slipping from his hand.

 _Fancy brolly, smart watch, what kind of a shop does this bloke work for?_ Eggsy wondered as he stared where the bartender once stood. He jerked his head towards Harry as the gent strode over to the table, sitting down across from Eggsy, and finishing the rest of his Guinness in one long sip.

He sighed contentedly before shooting Eggsy a small, but apologetic smile. "Sorry about that," he said as he leaned back in his seat. "Had to let off a little steam."

 _Sure wouldn't wanna fuck with you if you had a lot_ , Eggsy thought as he eyed Harry with a mix of curiosity, confusion, and a maybe a bit of fear. _Who the fuck was this bloke anyway?_

"I just lost a colleague today," Harry added, snapping Eggsy out of his reverie. "Actually, he knew your father as well." He straightened his shoulders before standing abruptly and aiming his watch at Eggsy, who immediately put his hands up.

"I do apologize Eggsy, but you really shouldn't have seen any of that today," Harry said as he began to program his watch to the Amnesia mode.

"No please!" Eggsy pleaded as he stared back at Harry with wide eyes. "If there's anything I'm good at, it's keepin' my mouth shut. I never grassed anyone up!"

"You swear it?"

"On my life!" Eggsy blurted out. He kept his eyes on Harry, who lowered his wrist before fixing his suit jacket with a smile.

"Good," Harry replied. "Thank you very much Eggsy." He placed a hand on the young man's shoulder and gently squeezed it, adding, "I hope that we cross paths again." He let go of Eggsy's shoulder and strolled to the door, unlocking the bolts before leaving the Black Swan.

Eggsy slumped in his seat and ran a hand across his face. He looked around the pub and decided to book it before any of Dean's crew came to, shoving his hands in his pockets before slipping through the doors of the Black Swan.

He didn't know what the fuck had just happened – one moment this Harry Hart bloke was reading him the riot act for making bad choices, then he beat a bunch of plebes that were planning to pound his ass for his little joyride last night. He didn't know if the gent was mental or really good at, well, whatever the hell he did, but he did feel grateful that the guy bailed him out and happened to teach those wankers a lesson after giving him shit for years.

He stifled a yawn and groaned as he hurried home. _First thing's first – get some fucking sleep after this mess._


End file.
